Extensive Observation Of Unresolved Sexual Tension
by bite-or-avoid
Summary: Resistance is futile when Angela has something to prove. All- dialogue companion piece to “Professionalism Matters, Even When You Deal In Death”


I couldn't help but follow up on the Bones/Buffy piece. It just... begged for more cross-overness. Or something to that extent. I don't think this one's as funny as the previous, but you can't win them all. I HAD to go there. No choice in the matter. None.

Thank you to everyone for all your wonderful comments!

**Title: ****Extensive Observation Of Unresolved Sexual Tension (In The Workplace)**  
**Author:** Anna (bite_or_avoid)  
**Characters:** Booth, Brennan, Angela, Cam  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word Count: **813  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own.  
**Spoilers: **None for Bones. Better if you've seen Angel 5.15- A Hole In The World, otherwise a part of this won't make sense. However, there is an explanation in the AN at the end of the piece.  
**Summary:** Resistance is futile when Angela has something to prove. All- dialogue companion piece to _**"Professionalism Matters, Even When You Deal In Death"**_

* * *

"Why are we doing this, Ange?"

"Because. I know you're oblivious to everything that isn't work-related, but Booth _is_ work-related, and you are therefore not oblivious to him, right?"

"Booth? Does this have anything to do with your rather intense observation of him earlier?"

"Just watch."

…

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Well, what do you think?"

"I think it's rather silly. Clearly, while the astronauts are in excellent physical health and are far superior in their mental capacity, the primal aggression of Neolithic man is not something to be underestimated. The whole argument about who would win in a physical altercation is…"

"Bren! Look! Just look at him."

"Which one, there's three of them."

"The one that's all, I'm so hot and tortured and soulful and hello! I happen to look just like a certain piece of FB-eye candy. Who is also hot and soulful, by the way. And possibly also bites."

"Are you referring to Booth?"

"How many hot FBI agents do _you _know?"

"Well, there's…."

"Yes, I am absolutely referring to Booth!"

"Ange…."

"Seriously? You really don't see it?"

"I'm not sure, but I… I find there to be quite a substantial amount of unresolved sexual tension between the one you think looks like Booth and his blond counterpart. Is this program a study on the homoeroticism inherent to the vampire subculture?"

"Sweetie, you're really one to talk about unresolved sexual tension."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

…

"People, is this a workplace or a movie theater?"

"Cam, thank God you're here. Look!"

"What am I looking at, Angela?"

"Angela was attempting to convince me that the homosexual vampire on this television show bears a resemblance to Booth."

"He's not gay, Bren!"

"Then why are they staring at one another in such a way as to suggest that they have been intimate?"

"Because they…. oh, just forget it. Cam, what do you think?"

"I think maybe we should concentrate on the deceased human being whose murderer we have yet to identify."

"Party pooper."

"Ange, I can admit that he has very symmetrical features, similar to those Booth possesses. However, Booth is leaner, and his musculature is much more defined. The vampire has a more prominent malar region and greater breadth between the glenohumeral joints. He also appears to suffer from some sort of neurosis, indicated by the way he is broadly gesticulating with the entirety of his body."

"Not to mention that hair. Seeley wouldn't be caught dead without his five different styling products."

"Ok, guys, if you just look…"

"Yes, I think I concur with Dr. Brennan. He just doesn't do anything for me. That blond one, on the other hand…"

"I disagree, Cam. The brunette is much more aesthetically appealing. He is clearly the alpha- male vampire, and treats the other as a subordinate. He is taller, more muscular, with a greater ratio between his shoulders and iliac crest…"

"And he looks JUST LIKE BOOTH! You guys are hopeless!"

"There's no reason to get so upset about it, Angela. Just because Dr. Brennan and I don't see…"

"I am an artist, ok? An _artist_. I don't just see, I _know_ these things."

"Wait a minute! Pause it right there, Ange!"

"Here?"

"Yes. Oh."

"What?"

"I believe I was too hasty in my previous assessment. There actually _are_ some rather striking similarities."

"His ass does look just like Seeley's."

"The man has a gorgeous ass."

"Ange!"

"What? Don't pretend like you haven't noticed."

"While this topic of discussion is entering the realm of the unprofessional, I will concede that Booth has a rather nicely structured gluteus maximus."

"Aha! So, do you agree with me now?"

"I'm not certain. I may need more extensive observation before committing fully."

"Of course you do, sweetie."

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing at all. And don't worry. I have _years_ of this on DVD."

"So, how does this show relate to the one Booth spoke of?"

"This is the spin-off."

"I don't know what that means."

"It means they took _this _character from _that _show, and gave him his own show."

"Oh. Why would they do that? Booth said that this was the main heroine's love interest. Why wouldn't they keep them on the same program?"

"I've been asking myself the same question since 1999, Bren."

"Hey Bones, I have that file you… Oh. Hello, ladies. Am I… interrupting something?"

…

"Why are you all… looking at me like that?"

…

"Oookaayyy…I think I'm just gonna go now. I'll come back later when you squints stop drinking the crazy juice."

"Booth?"

"Bones, what the hell's going on? Did someone put another voodoo curse on you or something?"

"There is no such thing as a voodoo curse. I uh… I was just curious as to whether or not anyone has ever expressed the belief that you bear a striking resemblance to a possibly bisexual vampire."

_Fin._

_

* * *

  
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**I had to do the neurosis thing. Could not help it. I love Angel. LOVE him. But lets face it, he can be a bit of a spazz :P**

**The caveman/astronauts passage refers to an intensely heated debate between Angel and Spike, witnessed by Wesley, on that very subject. There's a moment there when the two vampires' faces are thisclose, closer than even Booth gets to Brennan. Much with the inappropriate sexy. Come on, you know they've done it. More than the once Spike's admitted to. :P Thanks for reading!  
**


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